Learning Deliberately: Why This Journal Exists

For the longest time, I have justified scrolling on my phone. Lying around, procrastinating tasks, ignoring the washing up that keeps piling up in the kitchen...  Ten minutes of TikTok would easily turn into forty... then an hour... then three. A slightly interesting video would lead to another, and another, and by the end of it I would be watching shit posts and poorly constructed edits with Subway Surfers covering the bottom half of the screen. If I'm lucky, I might come away with a minuscule piece of useful information, which typically is not well retained.  I began noticing this quiet frustration growing; time kept passing me by, and I wasn't doing anything practical with it.  The turning point came when I happened across a video by 'urfriendsteph' on TikTok. She is like-minded in that she is bored and has not really been applying herself in a productive way, so she started documenting short, focused 30-minute research sessions on different topics. There was somethi...
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Themes & Topics

Ruthlessly Curious explores recurring patterns in history, psychology, mythology, systems, and lived experience. While subjects vary, most essays revolve around a central question: how humans construct meaning, identity, power, and belonging.


Mythology & Ancient History

Exploring ancient stories, rituals, warfare, symbolism, and social structures, particularly within Greek mythology and the ancient Mediterranean world.

Topics include:

  • honour and heroism
  • feminine power in myth
  • ritual and symbolism
  • warfare and identity
  • political structures
  • fate, destiny, and tragedy

This section is especially interested in the ways ancient patterns continue to echo through modern life.


Games & Systems

Examining games not just as entertainment, but as miniature social systems that reveal deeper truths about behaviour, motivation, identity, hierarchy, and reward.

Topics include:

  • gaming psychology
  • progression systems
  • status and ranking
  • MMO social dynamics
  • ritual and repetition
  • player behaviour
  • online identity

Many essays compare game systems to historical or psychological structures.


Psychology & Behaviour

Research and reflections on the ways humans think, behave, adapt, and search for meaning.

Topics include:

  • motivation and discipline
  • social behaviour
  • loneliness and belonging
  • identity formation
  • emotional dynamics
  • self-perception
  • autistic experience
  • behavioural patterns

This section often blends research with personal reflection.


Power, Culture & Society

Essays examining how cultures shape behaviour and how power operates through systems, narratives, institutions, and collective belief.

Topics include:

  • propaganda
  • hierarchy
  • ideology
  • gender expectations
  • conflict and social control
  • cultural narratives
  • status systems
  • collective identity


Personal Reflections

More introspective writing drawn from lived experience, self-education, work, identity, and navigating the world as an autistic woman.

These essays are often less about finding definitive answers and more about documenting patterns, observations, and personal growth over time.

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Learning Deliberately: Why This Journal Exists

For the longest time, I have justified scrolling on my phone. Lying around, procrastinating tasks, ignoring the washing up that keeps piling up in the kitchen...  Ten minutes of TikTok would easily turn into forty... then an hour... then three. A slightly interesting video would lead to another, and another, and by the end of it I would be watching shit posts and poorly constructed edits with Subway Surfers covering the bottom half of the screen. If I'm lucky, I might come away with a minuscule piece of useful information, which typically is not well retained.  I began noticing this quiet frustration growing; time kept passing me by, and I wasn't doing anything practical with it.  The turning point came when I happened across a video by 'urfriendsteph' on TikTok. She is like-minded in that she is bored and has not really been applying herself in a productive way, so she started documenting short, focused 30-minute research sessions on different topics. There was somethi...
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Sacred and Ordinary: Daily Rituals in Ancient Households

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